The Drink

After living in Tuscaloosa for several years now, I found myself pretty much keeping to myself. I didn't really talk to anybody at work or anything... So I decided to ask another teacher if she wanted to go for a drink after school one day. We got to talking and she invited Alex and me to her house for a barbecue with some of the other teachers. That is going to be on Saturday, so hooray for me attempting to be outgoing! I guess this is how adults make friends, Lindsay!

The Flying Circus

Fridays are reserved for art history, and this Friday was medieval art. So I decided to get the kids into a light mood to tackle what I personally think is the most boring era of history by showing a few clips from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. (This may not have been successful in any way as the kids thought I was about as stupid as a football bat.)
When the projector came up, they saw I had The Knot open in another tab. They got to talking about my wedding, and one kid asked if I want to have a boy or a girl when I start a family. I told him I didn't care. He responded "As long as it's healthy!" in the most jack-ass tone he could muster, and "You are so gay," accidentally slipped out under my breath as I chuckled at him. (Note to self: do not talk to students as if they were frat brothers.) So the kid screams "I AM NOT FRUITY!" back.
Needing to quickly divert the attention away from my little slip up... I decided to share with the class the newest addition to my wedding playlist: Rock Lobster by the B52s. They had only heard THIS version, though. Thank you to Seth MacFarland for introducing children to pop culture.

the perks of teaching adolescents

I am doing a color theory project in my class, kinda Andy Warhol-esque. My little girl was drawing a cartoon lion for her subject. I had to keep a straight face as I told her that I did not think that drawing testicles on it would be school-appropriate.

Furthermore, I was enchanted by the presence of a lovely child who decided the best way to express himself in my class was to flip me the bird.

Then one of my students drew a mustache using dry erase marker on my laminated print of the Mona Lisa. Thank God that has already been done and I could turn it into a teachable moment.

I have to say, of all of the professions I could have chosen... few may involve so much creative precision in dealing with the eccentricities of children. I love it. I hate it. At least it gives me something to write about.

Day 3: Snow Day

Yesterday afternoon I bought Alex a grill to tell him "Happy Birthday, cook me some food." Unfortunately, after I single handedly assembled it, I realized it was too cold to grill as we have a SNOW DAY today!

So what does one do when one realizes that they have a free day? Get drunk, pitch a tent in the living room, and rent a zombie shoot-em-up of course.

Unfortunately, our resident evil had something to do with umbrellas, making it relatively lame.

No school today, so I play on face book. I found a program that lists my old statuses. Some of my favorites, I would like to share:

11.11.08 - "craves adventure"

1.17.09 - "Is certain'antique' spelled backwards is 'helicopter' "

8.28.09 - "hates walking into a bathroom that really smells awful, then walking out to find someone has been waiting to use it and now believes you bombed it."

12.17.09 - "feels like a piece of devils food cake possessed by asparagus demons."

12.22.09 - "Thinks 'Aciphex' sounds like something dirtier than heartburn medication."

12.27.09 - "Maybe he just needs some penicillin to cure that night blindness."

Now, friends, I am going to go enjoy my snow day. It's Alex's birthday, too, so maybe I will do something nice for him. If I scheme up something good, i'll post.

Day 2: The Lobster Adventure

So I lost another 2 pounds, hurray for diet and exercise. Alex lost 10. Damn. As a reward, I decided to buy a lobster and top our salad with it last night. While I was at the seafood counter, I was speaking with a couple who informed me that they were buying treats for their bearded dragon. Shortly thereafter, the gentleman opened his jacket and shared his lizard with me... lovely. Nothing like a creature that carries salmonella in the grocery store.
Anyway... back to the lobster. I asked my fishmonger to steam it for me so I wouldn't have to put a live thing in hot water (thank you Annie Hall). As I was waiting for my seafood to cook, the fishmonger offered to sell me discounted movies. So I bought Mike Epp's stand up and The Family that Preys for a grand total of $10. (Probably pirated... but I really wouldn't have seen them at all otherwise. Sorry Tyler Perry)
Very content with myself, I drive home, tapping on the steering wheel as I was listening to Live 100.5 and humming because I don't know any of the words to Dave Matthews' songs. I carry a load of groceries to the door and attempt to unlock it, but they key breaks!! Panicked, I check the patio door... locked! Of course Alex's phone goes straight to voice mail. Damn again. I left him a rather unpleasant message about how he needs to answer his phone.
I find myself entering the law school, hoping I run into somebody who might have seen my fiance. The first person I run into is Moose, sans the tuxedo or festive hat today. (He is dressed in red from head to toe, somewhat resembling Alvin of the chipmunk triage.) He and I storm the law school in search of Alex. A few more nasty voice mails later (and another round about the school with Victoria) and... enter Alex, stage right.
He comes home, unlocks the door, and unloads the groceries. We were happy with the lobster salad... but after the day I just had... I felt a lot better after a few glasses of wine and a bowl of clam chowder (1/2 a can).
Oh well. Just another normaali päivä.

Day 1

Normaali Päivä translates from Finnish to English as Normal Day. As an overweight bride-to-be who teaches fine art to middle school children... I can say a normal day for me may involve moments that might seem ridiculous to others. Just another normal day in the life of Elizabeth.

Today is day 46 of working out on my Wii and day #1 on Alli. The joys and frustrations of weight loss and achieving a healthy lifestyle are simply one aspect of my completely ridiculous life.

My fiance, Alex, is a second year law student at the University of Alabama. He is a very serious student... but the most absurd, antic, slaphappy man I have ever met. You may read a lot about Alex.

My goal right now is to lose 40 lbs in 20 weeks. If my students don't drive me crazy first.