The best part about summer is the fresh flavors that food just HAS. Watermelon, cucumbers, tomatoes, berries, corn.... I love eating in the summer.
So last night's sashimi seemed an obvious choice for a summer evening, until that spinning ride at the carnival looked too fun. Well... so much for that. I won't go into details.
Speaking of the carnival and sushi, Alex and I won a blue-violet betta fish! I couldn't leave the poor fellow in that tiny, plain bowl he came in, so I went full-blown SpongeBob SquarePants for the guy. Alex and I thought it might be funny to name him GammaRay or make another pun based on the Latin alphabet. Suggestions?

Also, my auntie was planning on coming to town, so I decided to get creative and finish another painting. If you are asking yourself, "Gee, I wonder who posed...?!" then know this... it wasn't Alex (HA!) it was from a study I did in a college sketchbook. Auntie Jane showed up and was looking super foxy, she has been inspiring the rest of us to stick to a healthier lifestyle.

I have been spending most of the summer at home with my family. My mom has been helping me to not stress over the Gulf oil spill. We are still having our wedding in Orange Beach, AL come hell or high water (or crude oil). So to keep my mind off things, I took my niece to McDonalds to go play. You know they let adults in the PlayPlace?! Especially if you are chasing a 2 year old around it, nobody looks twice. Awesome! So for the first time in probably 20 years, I got to climb the spiral stairs in the fake tree, squeeze through plastic tubes, and slide down the spiral slide with Emma on my lap. I took a few choice pictures that I thought I might share from the play house :)

Emma kept saying, "Wizzie, Wizzie! come WITH me!" and I didn't know how to tell her no. And of course, my favorite shot was The

view from inside of the golden arches next to the American flag. You gotta kind of think to yourself, "Hell yeah, America. Hell. Yeah."

So anyway, Summer is in full-swing and with it comes the guilty pleasures. The more fun (read:trouble) I talk everyone around me into getting into, the better this blog will be. So... if you are reading and waiting for this normal day thing to be ironic again, agree to do something crazy with me.

The Last Day of School

School prepares you for the real world, which also sucks.

Today is the last day, and I have almost survived. I really do not need to have kids painting right now... so I had them write thank you letters to remind them to be thankful. My 2nd period class is absolutely horrendous, and they know it. This is the letter one student in that class wrote to the other:

Dear John*,

This year you taught me that this whole class, myself included, can be explosively ignorant. You helped me further the mental boundaries of my patience and endurance. John Doe, you helped me learn and realize that i am not alone when it comes to stupidity and horseplay, as you by far exceed me in these areas.

yours truely,

Bob Petersen

(*names have, obviously, been changed.)



Also, yesterday I hit a new low weight, so to celebrate, Alex took me to go get hot wings. I am moving home for the summer pretty soon... and we're going to the beach for a few days next week to scope out the situation and leave favors and wedding supplies. 6 hours in the car with my parents, Lord, help me! I'll try to post more this summer, sorry to keep y'all waiting!!

The Final Countdown

pinot noir to the rescue

So the get together with the other teachers was fun, Alex fit right in and I got to hear great stories about living in Vegas. I downed a bottle of pinot noir and the end of the night got fuzzy. Yeah I paid for that on Monday morning at the faculty meeting when I heard about how badly my speech slurs after that last glass that I drink KNOWING it'll put me over the edge.

Alex and I went to a local restaurant over the weekend as well. One of those places that serves all local and organic whenever possible, and puts bizarre foods together that are always shockingly delicious. We experienced another in a long series of gastronomic successes. The couple next to us looked so happy, so I leaned over and asked how to be happy. Our little discussion led us to discover that the gentleman was previously a supreme court justice for the supreme court of the state of Alabama, and the woman he was with worked in the upper echelons of the Tuscaloosa City school system. Small world, eh? I hope we made a good impression...

That brings us to yesterday. I had such an awful day with my students.... I started reading Texts from Last Night to lighten my mood. I started longing for undergrad, plus a terrible day, I decided to go to get drunk and fall down. First a margarita, then a tequila shot. Then, as if trying to make it my M.O. I downed a bottle of pinot noir. I suggested going skinny dipping and took a towel to go out. I laughed as I ran around with the towel functioning as a cape. Luckily the pool was locked, so we went to a local deli, where I stole a spoon, laughed maniacally and threw it into the night. Then I dropped my ice cream. Then I busted my tush in the mud. I kept telling Alex I was "going for the gold" and that it was "turbo Tuesday."

So if the pool was locked, why did my hair smell like chlorine when I woke up under the kitchen table this morning?

(Fun fact, I was once in a YouTube video called "Aloha! From Quahog!")

The Drink

After living in Tuscaloosa for several years now, I found myself pretty much keeping to myself. I didn't really talk to anybody at work or anything... So I decided to ask another teacher if she wanted to go for a drink after school one day. We got to talking and she invited Alex and me to her house for a barbecue with some of the other teachers. That is going to be on Saturday, so hooray for me attempting to be outgoing! I guess this is how adults make friends, Lindsay!

The Flying Circus

Fridays are reserved for art history, and this Friday was medieval art. So I decided to get the kids into a light mood to tackle what I personally think is the most boring era of history by showing a few clips from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. (This may not have been successful in any way as the kids thought I was about as stupid as a football bat.)
When the projector came up, they saw I had The Knot open in another tab. They got to talking about my wedding, and one kid asked if I want to have a boy or a girl when I start a family. I told him I didn't care. He responded "As long as it's healthy!" in the most jack-ass tone he could muster, and "You are so gay," accidentally slipped out under my breath as I chuckled at him. (Note to self: do not talk to students as if they were frat brothers.) So the kid screams "I AM NOT FRUITY!" back.
Needing to quickly divert the attention away from my little slip up... I decided to share with the class the newest addition to my wedding playlist: Rock Lobster by the B52s. They had only heard THIS version, though. Thank you to Seth MacFarland for introducing children to pop culture.

the perks of teaching adolescents

I am doing a color theory project in my class, kinda Andy Warhol-esque. My little girl was drawing a cartoon lion for her subject. I had to keep a straight face as I told her that I did not think that drawing testicles on it would be school-appropriate.

Furthermore, I was enchanted by the presence of a lovely child who decided the best way to express himself in my class was to flip me the bird.

Then one of my students drew a mustache using dry erase marker on my laminated print of the Mona Lisa. Thank God that has already been done and I could turn it into a teachable moment.

I have to say, of all of the professions I could have chosen... few may involve so much creative precision in dealing with the eccentricities of children. I love it. I hate it. At least it gives me something to write about.

Day 3: Snow Day

Yesterday afternoon I bought Alex a grill to tell him "Happy Birthday, cook me some food." Unfortunately, after I single handedly assembled it, I realized it was too cold to grill as we have a SNOW DAY today!

So what does one do when one realizes that they have a free day? Get drunk, pitch a tent in the living room, and rent a zombie shoot-em-up of course.

Unfortunately, our resident evil had something to do with umbrellas, making it relatively lame.

No school today, so I play on face book. I found a program that lists my old statuses. Some of my favorites, I would like to share:

11.11.08 - "craves adventure"

1.17.09 - "Is certain'antique' spelled backwards is 'helicopter' "

8.28.09 - "hates walking into a bathroom that really smells awful, then walking out to find someone has been waiting to use it and now believes you bombed it."

12.17.09 - "feels like a piece of devils food cake possessed by asparagus demons."

12.22.09 - "Thinks 'Aciphex' sounds like something dirtier than heartburn medication."

12.27.09 - "Maybe he just needs some penicillin to cure that night blindness."

Now, friends, I am going to go enjoy my snow day. It's Alex's birthday, too, so maybe I will do something nice for him. If I scheme up something good, i'll post.

Day 2: The Lobster Adventure

So I lost another 2 pounds, hurray for diet and exercise. Alex lost 10. Damn. As a reward, I decided to buy a lobster and top our salad with it last night. While I was at the seafood counter, I was speaking with a couple who informed me that they were buying treats for their bearded dragon. Shortly thereafter, the gentleman opened his jacket and shared his lizard with me... lovely. Nothing like a creature that carries salmonella in the grocery store.
Anyway... back to the lobster. I asked my fishmonger to steam it for me so I wouldn't have to put a live thing in hot water (thank you Annie Hall). As I was waiting for my seafood to cook, the fishmonger offered to sell me discounted movies. So I bought Mike Epp's stand up and The Family that Preys for a grand total of $10. (Probably pirated... but I really wouldn't have seen them at all otherwise. Sorry Tyler Perry)
Very content with myself, I drive home, tapping on the steering wheel as I was listening to Live 100.5 and humming because I don't know any of the words to Dave Matthews' songs. I carry a load of groceries to the door and attempt to unlock it, but they key breaks!! Panicked, I check the patio door... locked! Of course Alex's phone goes straight to voice mail. Damn again. I left him a rather unpleasant message about how he needs to answer his phone.
I find myself entering the law school, hoping I run into somebody who might have seen my fiance. The first person I run into is Moose, sans the tuxedo or festive hat today. (He is dressed in red from head to toe, somewhat resembling Alvin of the chipmunk triage.) He and I storm the law school in search of Alex. A few more nasty voice mails later (and another round about the school with Victoria) and... enter Alex, stage right.
He comes home, unlocks the door, and unloads the groceries. We were happy with the lobster salad... but after the day I just had... I felt a lot better after a few glasses of wine and a bowl of clam chowder (1/2 a can).
Oh well. Just another normaali päivä.

Day 1

Normaali Päivä translates from Finnish to English as Normal Day. As an overweight bride-to-be who teaches fine art to middle school children... I can say a normal day for me may involve moments that might seem ridiculous to others. Just another normal day in the life of Elizabeth.

Today is day 46 of working out on my Wii and day #1 on Alli. The joys and frustrations of weight loss and achieving a healthy lifestyle are simply one aspect of my completely ridiculous life.

My fiance, Alex, is a second year law student at the University of Alabama. He is a very serious student... but the most absurd, antic, slaphappy man I have ever met. You may read a lot about Alex.

My goal right now is to lose 40 lbs in 20 weeks. If my students don't drive me crazy first.